


Billy in the Bathroom

by charcoalie



Category: Young Avengers (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Crying, Gen, M/M, Men Crying, Panic Attacks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-26
Updated: 2019-02-26
Packaged: 2019-11-05 21:46:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17926937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/charcoalie/pseuds/charcoalie
Summary: Billy Kaplan falls asleep on the couch and relives his worst memories.





	Billy in the Bathroom

It was a bad day. 

 

Billy sat on the couch in the living room, hyperventilating. It was too much, too sudden, too fast. Everything had come rushing at him. 

 

He had fallen asleep on the couch shortly after Teddy had kissed him goodbye; he had gone to the store for groceries. The nap had been short, but it was long enough for the dreams to set in. Nightmares. The memories of his friends dying around him, of the Avengers, of everyone he could have saved. The memory of Teddy being tortured in front of him while he hung helpless. Then the memories shifted into nightmares of his other loved ones dying. Tommy. His parents. Wanda. Doreen. Roberto. Clint, Kate, America, hell, even _ David. _ So he had woken in a cold sweat with tears in his eyes, gasping for breath. He searched the pockets of his jeans for his phone, and with a guilt wrenched heart, he texted Teddy to ask how much longer he would be. He hated relying on anyone. He felt like he should be able to take care of himself.

 

With that, he started to cry.

 

The room was spinning, and he looked up at the ceiling, pain shattering him. “Stupid, stupid,” he muttered to himself. He should have been able to save them. He should have been able to save Cassie, to save Vision. Billy slid to the floor, his forehead resting on his knees. His breathing became faster somehow, and it started to hurt. 

 

The bad thoughts were coming. He could feel it coming on, so he shakily pushed himself to his feet and stumbled to the kitchen. Nearly dropping the glass he had gotten from the cupboard, he filled it with water and took a long sip. Though it calmed him slightly, it didn't stop the tears from welling in his eyes again.

 

Why was Teddy even with him? Why were they engaged? Why had Teddy proposed? He could have had anyone in the world, so why did he choose Billy? Of all people? He leaned against the counter, running a hand through his hair. He wasn't good enough to lead any Avengers. He wasn't good enough to have a team. He wasn't good enough to be a  _ hero _ . 

 

There was a small chime from the other room, but he ignored it. It was likely a text from Teddy, but Billy walked past his phone and into the bathroom. Like a baby, he sat in the tub. There was no water running. He just needed a small space, a cold space, where he could sort out his thoughts.

 

“Be rational, Kaplan,” he whispered. Teddy had proposed to him because he loved him and because they both wanted to get married. Teddy was with him because they loved each other and were good for each other. Was Billy good enough to be a leader? Probably not. But he would learn. Was he good enough to have a team? Everyone deserved to have a team, so yes. Was he good enough to be a hero? He had proven himself several times over the past few years, so that was another yes.

 

There was a click and a creak, and Billy heard footsteps. He made no move to get out of the tub. Sure, he was calmer now, but he had no energy.

 

“I'm home!” Teddy said, and the witch felt his heart leap.  _ Good… Teddy… safe,  _ he thought, leaning against the wall of the side of the bathtub. “Billy?” his fiancé called. Was that a hint of concern in his voice? The door to the bathroom opened, and he turned his head slightly. Relief flooded the man's expression, and he sat on the edge of the tub, taking Billy's hair and running his fingers through it. 

 

“Hey,” he said gently. “Talk to me. What happened?” Billy leaned up and into his hand, and Teddy leaned down to kiss his forehead.

 

“Bad day,” he mumbled tiredly.


End file.
